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Sex-positivity Sex and Parenting - The MamaSutra

SexxxTalkRadio

: My New Radio Show
I have a new project to announce:

My co-founder of NotSoSecret.com Alyssa Royse and I have started a new radio show on the Progressive Radio Network. It's called SexxxTalkRadio, that's sex with three x's. Our goal for the show is to educate the general public about sex & sexuality related topics, bring discussions about these topics into everyday conversation, all with the ultimate goal of removing shame and guilt about sex and sexual behaviors from the American hearts and minds.

I hope you tune in or subscribe via iTunes!

xxoo,
The MamaSutra



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A Lasting Impression

: The MamaSutra
I wanted to add something to the Core Erotic Theme (CET)/our children developing ideas around sex and sexuality while they are young topic.
A male friend of mine and I were having a discussion about porn and erotic literature. We just recently uncovered that something he used to do as a tween has had a profound impact on his adult sex life! WOW. Imagine that. (said sarcastically. For those of you who are new to reading my blog and haven’t heard me rant about “talking to your kids early and often”, this is my mantra).
The back-story here is when he was 12 he began to read Penthouse Forum magazines (he won’t reveal his source or exactly how he came in possession of the “literature”). He would scan the articles and select one based on topic and length. (Size queen? Jk). He said articles that were too short weren’t worth unzipping his fly. When he found one that was appealing, he would commence… do I really need to spell it out here??

This friend was particularly aroused by the stories in Forum that contained what we are lovingly referring to as “the change up” – a typical non-sexual situation turning into something sexual. You know, those instances where the housewife greets the pizza delivery boy and seduces him, or the handy man replacing a light bulb has his pants pulled down around his ankles while he is on the ladder. Those fantasies from his youth were arousing to him then and, until recently, he didn’t realize the lasting impact this had on his sex life. Yet he packed it away into the recesses of his mind and started unpacking because of our open discussions about turn-ons and our basic Core Erotic Themes. So now he understands why, as an adult, he still enjoys fantasizing about the neighbor’s wife, being fondled while doing household chores, and for some inexplicable reason gets aroused whenever someone delivers a pizza.
For parents of tweens: Make sure you are communicating with your children about what they know or are experiencing. Do not assume your children are not exploring their own bodies. Here’s some news for you… the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine 2010 reports by age 14-15, 67.5% of boys had already masturbated in their lifetime, not to mention that 13% of them had already received oral sex from a female in their 14-15 year “lifetime”. Correspondingly, for 14-15 year old girls, 43.3% had masturbated and 10.1% had received oral sex from a male in their lifetime. What is not clear to me from the data is if the girls had masturbated to orgasm, or if they know what female orgasm is?
The stuff your kids are doing and seeing NOW is having a lasting impact on their budding sexuality. If you suppress it, repress it, or otherwise make sex shameful, it may have an adverse effect on how they express themselves sexually as adults. If you talk about fantasy etc. now, they are more likely to have a healthier, sex-positive attitude when they are adults.
I understand: this is tough stuff! As a mother, I get nervous thinking of my own daughters engaging in sexual behavior at what seems to be a young age. I want to make sure I keep their little life rafts moored to the mother ship so they always know they can come to me with questions and that I’ll do my best to answer them. It’s ok to acknowledge your discomfort. It’s ok to say you don’t know the answer but offer to research it together. But please do NOT lie or make shit up. It only pushes your children away from you. If you lie to them and they find out the “real” answer, you will have proven to them that you don’t know what you are talking about. Our kids already think they know-it-all, let them at least know the truth.
For you parents, I want you to remember your own youth. Remember how awkward and uncomfortable it was with all of those hormones and breast buds and first periods or cracking voices and facial hair and growing pains. Did you go through all that alone? Wouldn’t it have been better if a loving, caring adult in your life talked to you about it? Ok, of course lots of you are going to cringe at the thought of your own uncool parent discussing sex but are you so uncool yourself? I know plenty of adults who would rather have someone else have these conversations with their children for them but, really?? Don’t YOU want to stay informed and involved?
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January 31st 2012 @ 21:25

Posted By: The MamaSutra - Category: Sexual Health, Sexual Behavior, Sex-positivity, Sex and Parenting
   


The MamaSutra

: More posts from
Hello everyone,
I have been keeping active on my other sites more so than here and I apologize (I must try to get them all in one spot...). If you are interested in reading lots of topical posts on Female Sexual Empowerment or Tips for How to Talk to your Kids about Sex AND Sexuality, please checkout my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/TheMamaSutra. Or you can subscribe to my twitter feed @TheMamaSutra.

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More places to find The MamaSutra

: More places to find The MamaSutra
Hello everyone!

I seem to be having technical difficulties with this site these days. 1) It thinks I'm a spammer. I presume it is because I blog about sex and sexuality. 2) I get lots of gobbledy gook characters in most of the posts I do put up here. And I can't seem to fix it. (user error?? haha). 3) And HUGE spaces fall in the middle of my blog


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A Proud Mama moment

: A Sex Counselor's kid
The other night I was tucking Marcia into bed. She was in a pretty good mood and so was I since it wasn’t too late at night for her to be going to bed and there was no arguing on her part or nagging on mine. (Parents? amiright??)
So there we were, sitting on her bed chatting and I say, “You know Marcia. I never asked you how much you already knew about sex before you asked me that question.” She said, “Well, I didn’t really know anything so that’s why asked you.” I laughed at that, such honesty. “Good point.” Smile So I asked, “You do know where babies come from, right?” and she said seriously, “Yeah. I know that the man puts his penis inside the woman’s vagina when they have sex.” I got the biggest smile on my face because of how she said it: she said it just very matter-of-factly, there was no giggling afterwards, there was no look of any embarrassment on her face when she said it to me whatsoever. I gave her the biggest hug and an I’m-so-proud-of-you-squint y-s mile and said to her, “That is absolutely correct. You used the anatomical terms and you said it so very confidently. You’re absolutely right. We had a couple moments of quiet, happy snuggling and then I said, sort of half giggling, “You sound like the daughter of a…” and she interrupted me, pulled away to look up at me and said “sex counselor?” I get the biggest kick out of this kid.
Thank you for letting me share that. So I’d like to ask: Do you have moments or anecdotes you’d like to share? Moments of proud parenting where it comes to this topic? I’m ready to listen to you too


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and random musings on s&m

: Kids sing the darndest things
As previously posted on Good Vibrations Sexy Mamas Blog ***Again, apologies in advance: I get these extra characters and HUGE spaces between paragraphs when I import my word doc into this blog site. I've taken to eliminating the apostrophes so sorry if typos bother you ***
Rhianna S&M

I was driving my daughters and one of Cindys friends home from school the other day and I had the radio on. Im usually listening to NPR or my iPod but my daughters friend requested a specific station. When I tuned in to that station after the ads it played Rhiannas song S & M. Immediately they started singing. I bit my tongue while I drove, fully aware that the three girls knew all of the lyrics to this song and were singing at the top of their lungs. But I didnt say a word. The link to Rhianna's song Then, the other day I was again riding in the car with Marcia and Cindy. Rhiannas song came on the radio again and the girls started singing it loud and proud


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Let's get naked

: an exercise in self-acceptance
NOTE: **Please forgive the formatting in this blog. I'm working out the kinks. Thank you for reading**
I went out to dinner last weekend for a girlfriend’s birthday. The party was made up of about 10 women; a few women that I already knew and a few that I hadn’t yet met. At the end of the table where I was sitting, we spoke a lot about my field of study… shocker! Basically, we talked about sex for most of the dinner. <br/>
(On a side note, it’s important for me to mention here that it does not matter who I tell what I’m doing with my life; everyone has a story that is important about sexuality and about what they’ve experienced in their life up to this point. For example, I’ve had conversations with my accountant talking about grandkids’ sexuality, with the online tech support person in India about societal differences in dealing with sexuality, and with my business banker talking about how early to start the conversations with children. One woman, who was a bit older than me, was told by her own mother that pregnancy was caused by kissing. She said she was so afraid to kiss her own father and brothers after that! As you can see, misinformation does not protect a child. But it can give them anxiety about something else.)<br/>


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got wood?

: talking to kids about sex
I saw an interesting T-shirt on a fourth grader at our elementary school’s campus. It said “got wood?”
got wood?


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New Owner of themamasutra.com

: The MamaSutra
Hi everyone!

Thanks for reading this blog. I just wanted to introduce myself; I am The MamaSutra. I am a mother of two girls, a Sexy Mamas Blogger, Board Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator. I hold a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) and a Certificate in Women's Studies from UW-Madison. I am also a recent graduate of IASHS as Master of Human Sexuality


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